Sunday, August 9, 2009

Confession No. 23: I Was Headed To The Promise Land

Saturday our car wouldn't start. Now I know that people's cars break down all the time. The problem with this time is that I was supposed to be headed on my summer road trip to the beach. Awwe... the glorious beach. The one place that had been promising me relaxation and joy all summer. My promise land. I'd looked forward to it for weeks and was totally bummed that my plans had been ruined with the simple turn of a key. Funny thing is... God was trying to show me where my heart really was.

I've been taking my time in reading through my Bible each night. I've spent years rushing through my Bible time just to check it off of my list as done, but in my new efforts, I sometimes only get through a few sentences so that I can allow God to speak to me. So far, I'm just about done with the book of Exodus. I'm sure you've heard about the Israelites. Descendants of Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob. The Israelites were slaves to the Egyptians before God set them free and lead them on a journey to The Promise Land. The land flowing with milk and honey. I guess that means they had lots of cows and bees in this land, but for some reason that was a really great thing to them. ;) ok. Back to the story... God did so many amazing things for the Israelites in setting them free from slavery. They had complained through it all, but still He came through for them EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even after all of God's miraculous signs, the Israelites would go back to their complaining. I can remember how frustrated I felt reading the story. Why couldn't they just trust God? How could they complain after all He'd done for them? How could God even tolerate them?

I don't know the answer to those questions, but on Saturday night, after I looked back on what should have been a glorious day at the beach, the Lord nudged me...

"Hey Annie, remember all the complaining and griping you did today? Do you
remember still being grumpy instead of thanking me for getting your
car fixed the same day at 1/6 of the price that it should have cost? Do you remember getting mad at your husband for doing His best to get everything taken care of?"

Me: "Yes Lord, I remember."

My Prayer:
Father, thank you for tolerating my disgusting selfishness and
ungratefulness. Save me from myself. I want to love and please you for who you are and not just for what you can do for me. Show me how to trust you. You always come through for me and I know that you are the only thing I can count on in life. Thank you for the lessons you are teaching me through your word. Your love and grace overwhelm me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Confession No. 22: The System Failed Me

Just in case you were wondering how my Bible study "system" has been working out... I'm excited to tell you that it's been sweeter than ever... with a little tweaking from God.

For the first time in my life I'm realizing that God cannot be confined to my desire to organize and systemize every detail of my life. I started my last Bible study system in April with so much enthusiasm and excitement about digging into God's word. Unfortunately, the zeal only lasted a few days before I faded... As usual. BUT GOD (one of the most powerful phrases in the Bible) but God kept nudging me to keep pressing on in His word. So, one night while lying in Bed, I opened up the Bible in my iPhone and just started reading at the very beginning. No plan. No system. No lights. Just me and God's word... And the Holy Spirit of course. This has turned out to be my favorite part each day. Before I go to bed I just keep reading from where I left off. God has used this time to reveal so much about himself to me and it has been so refreshing. It's sad to say, but this is one of the first things I've done in life without trying to analyze and preplan every detail. I guess that's what Happens when we just let God do his thing. I'm ealizing that he doesn't need me to try and controll it all. Turns out He's got it covered.

My prayer:
Thank you Jesus for not allowing me to get caught up in the way I think things should be. Thank you for still revealing your glory to me even when my heart and actions stinch of sin. Thank you for giving your son, so that I could start over. Your Words are life to me. I love you.