Confession No. 9: I Can Only Imagine...

The I Can Only Imagine Mercy Me song has been out for years. When I heard it today, it reminded me of the tears that filled my eyes the first time it's lyrics touched my heart. The song offers such a powerful reminder that one day we will meet Jesus face to face. We'll finally be able to embrace the one that comforted us, loved us, and died for us even while we were at our worst. We'll be able to touch the hands that created ours and actually hear the voice that guided us from within. What an amazing moment that will be. I don't know what I will do when we finally meet, but My confession today is nothing more than some deep internal dialogue. Why don't I feel moved any longer when I imagine meeting my king? How did my heart get so hard? and more importantly how can I regain the enthusiasm, zeal, and passion that I once had for him? How can I let go of this world and cling to the only one that gives me any real reason to live? How can I grab hold of the vision that my life here is so temporary and that He has created a home for me to fellowship with him for eternity? How can I daily remind myself that I was created to serve him, not the other way around?

My heart wants to want Him more! More than I want peace, security, and to be loved and approved by those around me, I want to be desperate for His presence again. I want to long to hear His voice again. I want to get lost in His overwhelming glory.

For today, I know I won't find my answer in a song, program, or Christian book. Only Jesus can answer my questions and only Jesus has the power to breath spiritual life back into my suffocating lungs. I can only imagine where we'll go from here.